Infidelity is a tricky situation that society experiences now more than ever.
Admitted affairs are thought to have grown in recent years. Around 1/3 of married couples
have experienced infidelity, 22% of men have admitted they have cheated on their partner, and 14% of women have admitted cheating as well. The Institute of Family Studies
suggests that Blacks have reported cheating over 28% more than Whites and Hispanics. It can be debated whether or not today’s society promotes and encourages infidelity. But, since social media has become popular, not only has it become easier to cheat, but also a lot easier to be caught.
But what is the point here? That Infidelity is wrong? That it should be accepted? Infidelity is still a sense of betrayal. Betrayal
is best defined by the individual who is the apparent victim in a given situation. When discussing infidelity with your partner or a therapist, there has to be a definition agreed
upon by the couple. Betrayal can come in the form of cheating, emotional connections with others, using finances for another purpose, developing habits, not achieving goals that were initially discussed and agreed upon, or even disclosing personal information to others.
Infidelity can also be initiated due to several reasons. Most commonly, it comes down to an individual not receiving what they feel they need from their partner, hence, they go and seek it elsewhere. This does not excuse the behavior, but there are some thoughts to keep in mind if you find yourself in this situation with your partner.
Your actions can lead to difficulties in your relationship.
No, we aren’t responsible for other people behaviors. But, our own thoughts and beliefs about a situation can lead us to behave in a certain way. Could a simple conversation with our partners have made a difference? Yes. Could there possibly be something that our partners were already thinking or feeling that drove them to stray? Yes. Relationships are a ‘two way street’, meaning, that if you don’t take the time to work out issues, big or small, they will find their needs elsewhere.
Define your goals as a couple.
Setting high expectations for your partner can make the weight of their betrayal hurt even harder. Thus, couples need to set goals for their relationship so that they can attempt to reach them together. As you do with any goal, you should discuss along the way what is working and what is not, and what you both deem as acceptable and unacceptable. This is an important task that all couples should practice. Now if the point of the betrayal was to intentionally hurt the other person, then it’s a whole other topic to discuss.
Reconciliation CAN happen.
Statistics do show that few people reconcile
while most people never even try to. You make your destiny and your moves. If you choose that you do not want to reconcile, remember that it is your choice but maybe you could have worked through it. Of those who do attempt to work on their relationships and succeed, it is found that there is an increase in their marital satisfaction.
But this is part of the hard work of being in a relationship. Ans sometimes rebuilding trust is part of the process.
Moral of the story? Utilizing communication, and striving to constantly work on your relationship with your partner is extremely important to working out differences in your relationship.]]>